Here’s a question for you: can a girl have a platonic friendship with a Frenchman? And for that matter, can a Frenchman have a platonic friendship with French women?
It’s a question I’ve often pondered on. I have guy friends. But most of them I’ve dated before or had a fling with, and now they’re with someone else. Or if we’ve not dated or had a fling before, there’s this odd tension sometimes where something could happen if I wanted it to. With the latter, the line can be blurry…
For example, I was hanging out with a guy friend a while ago. I really enjoyed his company, but only as a friend. He enjoyed my company too but wanted to sleep with me. When I said I didn’t want anything more than friendship from him, he cut me off. It was kind of brutal. But at the same time, I understood that we just didn’t want the same thing.
Which makes me wonder – do some girls/guys hang around as supposed platonic friends waiting for their chance to pounce? Maybe. Do some girls/guys hang around as supposed platonic friends because it’s fun to flirt. Definitely. Do some girls/guys hang around as supposed platonic friends because they’re looking for a better option than their partner? Sometimes.
Which brings us to a sticky point. A not so platonic relationship between two people of the opposite sex who are single is really just exploring one’s options and doing what was bound to happen eventually: having sex. Because no one’s fooling anyone here. Usually if two people of the opposite sex enjoy hanging out, there will be sex at some point, or at least the expectation of sex.
But what about a guy hanging out with a girl where the guy is in a relationship and the girl is single. Let’s say the girl is young, attractive and clearly attracted to the guy. Let’s say the guy is happily attached but isn’t blind and finds this girl attractive. Let’s also say there’s daily flirtation between the two of them at the office. So far it’s been harmless. And now they’re out for lunch. The girl throws herself at the guy. All he has to do is say yes. The girl has nothing to lose, the guy has everything to lose. Now what?
Should the guy not put himself in that situation to begin with? Should he nip the situation in the bud and say thanks but no thanks? Should he have a quick fling with her and get it out of his system?
It depends on many variables. But what it comes down to is choice. Temptation is around us constantly, for men and women. It’s normal to walk around with your eyes open and to appreciate the female/male form. But that doesn’t mean you have to act on it. But I think for many Frenchmen, their choice is to act on it, to cheat on their partners, and to try and get away with it.
A Frenchman I was seeing a while back dropped a bombshell on me one day – that he had a girlfriend and a daughter. That he had no intention of leaving them. That he had nothing to offer me. And yet he still thought I would be up for a fling. I turned him down and told him what I thought of his loose morals. To which he said: It’s different in France, life is hard, so people have flings, it’s just sex after all.
It’s just sex after all – is it? It is when it’s two single people having fun. But when you bring in partners and kids, it’s not just sex, it’s toying with people’s lives. I personally find it hard to relate to this cultural acceptance of people having affairs. That it’s quite simply a way of life. For me, having an affair is making a mockery of your relationship. It’s also the end. Case closed.
How about you? What are your views on cheating?