Trust is something you don’t just do a bit. It’s something you do fully. Which means you can’t almost fully trust your Frenchman, but then go check his pockets.
If you don’t fully trust your Frenchman, those sneaking doubts will always creep in. They’ll make you do more than check his pockets. You might also freak out if he tells you he’s having lunch with a female colleague. You might have a meltdown if you find out he went on a guy vacation, only there was a girl there too. You might go nuts when his ex texts him.
The thing is that the more you don’t trust your Frenchman, and consequently, the more freak outs you have, the more your Frenchman will lie to you. So he doesn’t have to deal with your freak outs.
And so something that was really quite innocent needlessly turns into a web of lies. Which, if you end up finding out the truth, won’t be pretty.
For example, your Frenchman lies to you and says he’s going to the hairdresser’s over lunch. You walk by a restaurant and see him inside with a woman. You spiral out of control in a second. You walk inside and confront him. You cause a scene. He thinks you are crazy. You never believe that she was just a colleague. You can’t easily trust him again. Only – he never did anything wrong! He has having a business lunch with a female colleague. He lied to you to avoid your freak out.
Basically, to skip the above, nothing can trump trust. Trust your man and he will share his life with you. He will tell you about his lunch with a female colleague to discuss a new contract. And you won’t judge him. He will tell you about the annoying chick who showed up on his guy vacation. And you won’t judge him. He will tell you about his ex texting him to get her umbrella back. And you won’t judge him.
If you feel secure in your relationship, there’s no reason not to trust. Everyone should, in theory, start off with a full set of brownie points. Because a Frenchman you start dating shouldn’t have to pay for the mistakes that your ex made with you. He should be starting off with a clean slate. And you should be keeping your insecurities created by your exes under wraps.
Now, if your man gives you reason not to trust him, then that’s a different story. We’ll get to that in my next post.