I had a meltdown when my Frenchman barely called me when he was on vacay with his family. I completely unravelled over the course of a week and then it all came spilling out when he did finally call. It was like a train wreck. It wasn’t even about him in the end. It was about all my exes that had ever treated me like shit, in particular my ex-husband.
In retrospect, I was equating his lack of calling me to him not loving me. But here’s the thing: women like to be in constant contact, because for us it’s proof that our man is thinking of us, that he misses us. But a man doesn’t need to be in constant contact to think of us, to miss us.
I apologized when I realized this and calmed down. Over the next few days he called me every day and stayed in touch. But then on the last few days of his vacay he disappeared again. And yes, I had another meltdown.
Frenchmen are from Mars, Women are from Venus. We are not made from the same mould. It’s difficult for a woman to completely see things from a man’s perspective. Because her own perspective will eventually pull her back when she gets emotional. Which is what happened to me. I rationally saw that he was busy with his family and that him not calling me wasn’t because he didn’t love me. But emotionally I felt betrayed and abandoned. And so rational thinking flew out the window again.
Which leads me to say… what’s the answer? A middle ground that’s what. A five-minute phone call before bed every day – how about that? I need to bring this up because otherwise, the same scenario will just keep repeating itself. And there’s only so many meltdowns a man can take, and that a woman wants to have.
My Frenchman is coming back tonight….