Where have I been? I know, it’s been ages. My mind has been whirling and I’ve been away on vacation, twice. One with my Frenchman, the other with my family. But now I’m back and I feel the need to catch up with you my readers from all around the world. Just as a side note: feel free to comment on my posts, I love reading your comments and hopefully giving you some helpful insight if I can. So please go right ahead and write how you feel about Frenchmen or any men for that matter!
So back to me. And my Frenchman. We are still together, yes. When he got back from his vacation it was difficult because he still doesn’t really get why I was upset that he didn’t call more often. And I am sure that next time he goes away with his kids, the exact same thing will happen…
I didn’t mention that before. He is divorced (as am I) and has two kids. He has them every few weekends and for parts of the school vacations. Which means that when he has them, I do a disappearing act because it’s way too early to do the meet the kids thing. When he has them, it’s hard for him to call me because they don’t know I exist and they’re curious about who he’s talking to and why. Sometimes he calls me and whispers down the phone. Or he just won’t call at all.
Of course there are many women dealing with this exact same scenario. But it’s yet another layer of complication to dating a Frenchman and somewhat negotiating around the ex-French wife.
Despite being in my late 30s, I still have plenty of romantic notions of how I think a relationship should be. I don’t think it should turn domesticated and practical just three months in. But then maybe I’m kidding myself. I am dating a Frenchman in his mid-40s with two kids. But… on the other hand, he shouldn’t be just trying to slot me into his previous married life.
Last night we went out for dinner after not having done that for quite some time and I realized how much I enjoyed it and missed doing that. I still want to be seduced, taken out, invited to the movies because why shouldn’t I? I’m in the early stages of a relationship, I feel young at heart, I don’t have any financial commitments, I don’t have any kids. But I worry that my Frenchman is really not on the same page with me here.
It’s not like I lead a crazy lifestyle of going out and getting drunk five times a week. I’m pretty tame to be honest. But last night he said that my lifestyle wasn’t conducive to settling down and having kids. To which my answer was, if I did settle down and have kids then obviously that would change, but until then I wanted to enjoy myself.
I got the impression that my Frenchman didn’t see me as a settle down and have kids type of woman. It made me feel misunderstood and judged for being who I am right now because of my life right now.
If anyone has any words of wisdom, they would be most welcome.