Or exes. Choose as appropriate.
You might call her a bitch. A manipulator. A nutter. A stalker. A sly old cow.
Your Frenchman on the other hand will call her a nice person that he means no harm.
In my case, my Frenchman’s ex is his ex-wife. The mother of his children. I spent an evening with her the other weekend pretending to be nice when I really didn’t feel like it. Luckily she looked like a horse. Ha ha.
No girl likes her boyfriend’s exes, let’s face it. And why should we. But sometimes, they loiter. Because they’re the mother of your man’s kids, because they live around the corner, because they still kinda like your man, because they’re just that little bit crazy, because they hang out in the same circle of friends, etc.
To a Frenchman, I get the feeling that exes are no big deal. Why are you still friends with her? you might ask your Frenchman. “Et bien, pourquoi pas ?” he’ll say back with a shrug. Pfff, give me a break, I’d rather not hang out with someone you previously had sex with thank you very much.
But… I’m afraid it’s something you have to get used to. Grit your teeth and get through it. Put up with it and be sickly sweet.
To some Frenchmen, sex is a pasttime, like having a cup of tea. He’s done it with various women he’s been friends with over the years. It didn’t always mean much, sometimes he dated them a few weeks, sometimes a few months, he may even have said Je t’aime. But that doesn’t mean there was ever any real attachment, any feelings there. So when he bumps into one of those women at a party say, he does the bise and catches up as if there’s nothing to it. And hey, a French woman will just roll with it.
Dating does not seem to carry the same weight for Frenchmen as us anglos. And they see no reason why they can’t stay friends with a friend he had sex with. He will see no reason why you can’t be friends with her too! What a great idea!! Let’s all play happy families!
This is my idea of a nightmare personally.
On a longer relationship front on the other hand, I find that Frenchmen can be too lenient with their exes. For example if your Frenchman, like mine, was married for 10 years, he will think it natural to stay friends with her, even if it ended bitterly, and not just for the sake of the kids. To quote my Frenchman: “We had good times too together, I can’t forget that.” Note: she cheated on him and treated him like dirt basically.
<> I get the feeling that my Frenchman’s ex-wife will always be very present in our lives. Luckily, she lives in another city. Otherwise, I’m sure she’d be popping over all the bloody time because she evidently wants us all to be friends. I guess in a way it’s jealousy on my part. That she shared so much with my man, that they had a family together, that they share asides together that exclude me. Obviously, I can never compete with what they had. I guess it’s also that they have so many friends in common, that she’s often part of the conversation when she’s not even there. As you can see, she was and still is a big part of my Frenchman’s life. And I need to just accept that and at the same time thank my lucky stars that she doesn’t live in Paris and that she has a boyfriend and has moved on.
You can console yourself with the fact that your Frenchman is not with any of his exes, he’s with you. And if that’s not enough, go run on the treadmill like a mad woman and treat yourself to a couple of glasses of wine. Cheers.