First off, thanks to Annie for giving me the idea to write this post. To any other readers, feel free to drop ideas for posts in the comments. Remember to sign off with your name!
Let’s look at a few scenarios here to put a Frenchman’s seeming lack of sympathy and feeling into play:
– You’re down about being on unemployment, you have no leads right now for any interviews and you generally feel down.
You need: a hug and to be reassured.
You get: A shrug and “It’ll be fine, you’ll see.”
– You got contacted by a magazine to contribute toward an article. You are totally stoked.
You expect: “Wow, that’s amazing honey, well done!”
You get: A shrug and “Are you using your real name?”
– You got 98% on one of your MBA papers and are in awe of your awesomeness!
You expect: “Holy cow, are you kidding me, congratulations!”
You get: A shrug and “They should just give you your diploma right now.”
– You’ve slaved over a gourmet meal for hours and the food is sublime.
You expect: “This is delicious honey. Thank you.”
You get: Nothing
– You’re wearing a gorgeous dress to a party. You’re looking pretty darn hot even if you say so yourself.
You expect: “Wow, baby.”
You get: Nothing
Later by way of explanation: “It’s given you looked gorgeous, I didn’t think I had to say it.”
Sometimes we want reassurance and a hug. Sometimes we want a simple well done. But we don’t always get it. It’s not just a Frenchman thing, it’s a guy thing. Because guys are not women. They are not in our heads, reading our minds about what we want them to say. So sometimes they say nothing, sometimes they say the wrong thing, sometimes they make us feel misunderstood and like crap.
The solution? Deal with it basically. And call a girlfriend if it’s moral support you’re after.
Sad but true.
Does anyone have any other examples with their man, French or other?