“Mais, tu n’as pas d’humour” (Where’s your sense of humour?)
This is what my Frenchman says to me sometimes. And I think, what, was that a joke?
I don’t know whether it’s just me, but I don’t always find the French sense of humour very funny. From what I can see it’s an in your face, very evident humour, that’s often based on sex. I guess sometimes it’s passable and I laugh, but other times when everyone’s hooting with laughter like it’s the funniest joke ever, I wonder where the hell I’ve landed.
Personally, I’m more partial to clever banter, quick repartee and deadpan dry humour. But it tends to sail right over the head of many Frenchmen. But not all thankfully. Frenchmen who’ve lived abroad, who speak English, and have spent time in the UK or North America seem to have an appreciation for sarcasm and such. But Frenchmen who don’t speak English, have no interest in speaking English and who consequently have never spent any time in an anglophone country just won’t get it.
So which is my Frenchman? The latter, unfortunately. I have dated Frenchmen before who have had this English side to them, and I kind of miss it in my Frenchman to be honest.
Now here’s a question for you – can you truly be yourself when you’re always speaking another language, containing your natural sense of humour and trying but sometimes failing to find a foreign sense of humour funny?
When I’m passionate or excited about something, I often slip into English. Or if a funny comeback creeps upon me, I’ll just say it in English. And my Frenchman? Well, he stares at me blankly. It’s frustrating to not be funny and not be truly me when I speak French.
Don’t get me wrong though, my Frenchman always sees movies with me in English with French subtitles, bless him. And this weekend when we were out for dinner with his friends, he was very attentive and considerate and translated parts of the conversation for me that he knew I hadn’t understood. Because I may be bilingual and all but I still can’t keep up with everything. I appear to have reached a plateau with my vocabulary. And as for the humour, I don’t think I’ll ever fully grow into that.
So what do you think? Do you think it’s possible to just accept the state of things. Or do you think at some point you think, we just don’t speak the same language, in more ways than one?
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Bises,
8 Comments
That's some tricky questions.. đ I don't really think that you truly can be yourself when speaking another language actually, when it comes to humour that is. I dont either find french humour that funny at all, I prefer sarcasm… and we use a lot of sarcasm here in Sweden, but I do wonder if it is because we watch so much english/american tv… haha tricky tricky đ
But anyway, I think that you have to adjust to the culture, or you can continue with the sarcasm jokes and he'll learn that kind of humour haha..
The french people that I have spoken to doesn't always find my sarcasm jkes funny, but many do though. Maybe it's just your man who doesn't like that kind of humour đ
You do pose a tough question…I think I'm lucky in the way that I pretty much speak only English with my Frenchman due my non-existant French and to him having lived abroad for many years, yet jokes can get lost in translation with me having to explain a joke in English or him having to translate a joke from French. I think, like all cultural differences between a couple, it gets easier with time; You get to know each other better, appreciate each other's sense of humour and generally learn what makes the other one tick. At least, that is what I keep telling myself lol. On another note, Is it just me or do Frenchman lack somewhat in feeling sympathetic? I've been job-hunting and feeling a bit down about my lack of success, but instead of some friendly reassurance and a hug, I was berated by my Frenchman for being too impatient in my search and not well enough prepared at interviews. Anyone else experience this? Biz, Annie
@ The Swede – Adjusting to the culture, sure, but I do believe in an effort of reciprocation… Definitely with you on the sarcasm đ
@ Annie – A Frenchman who's lived abroad is a different kind of Frenchman I think. For the better. As for the lack of sympathy, I hear you. I think it's down to the laissez-faire attitude. Post coming up about that later today.
Bises x
I am an australian and have been speaking with a french man living abroad and personally the few online messages weve shared have been absolutely hysterical ! I think his humour is very similar to mine, cheeky & funny.
Hippy Chic.
Hi Hippy Chic,
Thanks for coming by my blog! Sounds like you got yourself a good one. As long as he makes you laugh and he makes you laugh, that's a good start. Are you guys meeting soon?
Bises x
Hello again. No we are not meeting soon we only sttarted chatting a week ago. But i have bookmarked your blog as its very informative. Is it normal for them to be so full on? It actually makes me wonder if hes just playing me with all his sweet smooch talk?
Hippychic
Hi again Hippy Chic,
Yes it's totally normal for Frenchmen to be so full on. It's just their way. But don't swoon too fast because those sweet nothings should be taken with a grain of salt. If you guys meet you should enjoy yourself yes, but also pace yourself. Take a look at my archives for more tips. And come back soon to let me know how things go!
Bises x
As a French girl living in England, I completely sympathize with the not-being-entirely-yourself and not-being-funny-anymore in another language because even though I can express myself in English , the spontaneity of humour comes to me in French.
As for the rest, I'm really surprised. I've always enjoyed the French trait d'esprit and bon mot. As for the repartee, it is kind of a national sport to verbally tackle each other and make use of sarcasm.
I'm not saying it applies to every one but it is my experience of French humour.
Elodie