I figured it was time for a fresh post. My last post got lots of activity and I have to say it’s fantastic to share with you guys. Keep it coming!
Today’s post is a delicate one. It’s about having kids. I am in my late 30s and would like to have kids. I’m getting up there, so my time is running out. At best I have maybe three years of baby making years left. As my regular readers will know, my Frenchman already has two kids with his ex-wife.
So, how to broach the subject?
Frenchmen don’t like to talk about where their relationship is heading. I think it makes them want to get the hell out of there. So the key is to go with the flow and to swallow your insecurities. But what about the huge, looming subject of wanting to have kids?
Do I mention it or not mention it?
It’s not like I want to ask him after 9 months if he’s ready to have kids with me. It’s not even that I’m ready to go down that road myself with him. First, we’d need to have made a commitment to each other, like living together, and I’d need to see that we were ready for that. BUT what I do need to know is if he wants to have more kids down the road….
So I asked him.
And he freaked out.
He didn’t get the nuance, probably because he was freaking out so much. I tried to explain: Honey, I’m not asking you to have kids with me tomorrow, I just need to know that you want to have another child at some point, so that I know our paths are aligned…
See, I don’t want to stay with someone that doesn’t have the same life aspirations as me. If my Frenchman doesn’t want to have any more kids point blank I’d rather know. I’m not crazy, am I?
Still he didn’t get it. All he kept saying was that it was way too early to talk about kids.
Yeah. Right. Got it.
Friggin wanted to shoot myself.
He has his kids so he’s got nothing to lose. As for me, if two years from now he tells me he’s totally happy with me but doesn’t want any more kids, I have everything to lose.