Picture this:
He texts you in the day to tell you he’s thinking of you. He calls you to make plans in the evening with you. He buys you flowers. He likes to make you laugh. You often catch him looking at you with a dreamy look in his eyes. He tells you he loves you and you feel that he really means it. He likes to surprise you with little presents. He holds your hand when you stroll through Paris. He introduces you to his friends as his girlfriend. He’s made plans for a vacation with you this summer. You’ve had a conversation about marriage and babies and he didn’t freak out and run for the hills. He’s always there to support you. He doesn’t do a runner when you’re in a mood, on the contrary, he makes you smile. He strokes your cheek and tells you he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. When you think of him, you can’t imagine your life without him.
For anyone looking for this kind of scenario with a Frenchman or any man, it is possible. It just means you need to be patient and wait for the right guy. Now, that doesn’t mean that you should sit on your sofa in your pjs and wait for him to ring the doorbell. To make it happen, you need to open doors to increase your chances. Even then, it may take a while to meet The One. “Where the hell have you been?” you might want to say to him. But instead you fall into his arms and finally breath a sigh of sheer joy that you’ve found the man that you want to build your life with.
Some may say, “Is a Frenchman too good to be true?” But I would have to say not always. The right Frenchman for you is not too good to be true. Some people bring out the best in others. And if you bring out the best in your Frenchman and he loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you, he will continue to be that person. Which means that he will continue to make you swoon, will continue to make you smile, will continue to make plans with you, and so on and so forth. It’s as simple as that. If a Frenchman is not right for you, he will no doubt eventually do a disappearing act and will then, yes, be too good to be true. In those kinds of cases, you’ll feel like crap because he did and said all the right things to make you swoon and then… started dating someone else. Nice one.
So how do you meet the right (French)man? When you meet a man, don’t immediately label him as potentially The One. If you do that, your expectations will be way too high and you’ll probably be disappointed. Instead, let him show you how much he likes you. In other words, apply the mirroring technique. What this means is that when he texts you, you text back. When he calls you, you pick up the phone. When he asks you out, you say yes. See, by letting him initiate things in the early stages, you get to know pretty quickly how into you he is. This saves you a whole lot of time. Within, say 3 weeks, you’ll know how keen he is. And hey, if he’s not that keen, it’s time for you to move on. Easy right! If he is keen though, that still doesn’t mean he’s The One. From then on, you can initiate too but here it’s good to give things time. Does he have staying power? Is he still keen 7 months in? Is he making plans with you? And how do you feel? Only then will you start to get the picture if he’s in it for the long haul. If he is, and you are too, congrats!
Bises,
Datea x
8 Comments
Thanks for this post! I'm patiently waiting. Like he said, 3.5 months apart feels like an eternity. đ
Yesterday, again he told me that we should go to the South together for a vacation. I said okay. And then he said the best time is to go in the Spring or Summer. (He knows I won't be in Europe until the Fall.) đ
I like that he's making long range plans.
Oh Datea, I'm finally being treated right!!!
-Rosalie
Hey Datea!
Polish girl from Japan again!
I've got a lovely 3 days holiday with my Frenchman (he was the one who suggested to come and see me and I suggested a trip out of Warsaw :)) and we have plans for next meeting already!
He is flying to see me in Japan in the end of June for two weeks (even though I won't be able to take more than 1 or 2 days off during that time!) I'm making my plans to go to visit him in Paris too!
He started to check tickets prices to Japan on his way back home from Poland! That is so sweet. đ
Cheers! đ
Datea,
I desperately need your help and advice,its Rouge here if you can remember I was going to meet my Frenchman. Well I am back almost a week tomorrow and things are so different. I messaged him the day after I got back to tell him how wonderful a time I had and that I wanted to see him again.
I will admit it was my first solo trip abroad and was incredibly nervous and on my guard. He tried to kiss me all the time and complimented me non stop and I stupidly pushed his advances off – not because I didnt want to kiss him but because I was shy and embarrassed as he kept doing it in shops and in the street – something I'm definitely not used to.
Back to my message and his response he said he was shocked that I found him attractive as I didnt make any “moves” on him,he says he doesnt want to lose me and definitely wants to see me again but I dont know how honest he is being with me. He invited me back to stay with him when I'm over next month and I told him the dates that I am coming back and he hasnt got back to me! All he keeps doing is sending me messages about how beautiful I am! Its super confusing..he said I was so quiet when I was over there and hes so outgoing but as I said it was nerves. I am just wondering if he was saying all these things to me for the past 8 months just to have sex. We had talked and said I wasnt going to be his booty call or friends with benefits and he said he didnt want that đ should I just leave him be and have him come after me? Its just so hard as we spoke non stop and I miss him. I did probably bruise his ego by pushing him away and I cant ever forgive myself for that but I was nervous.
Rouge x
Hi Rosalie – You're finally being treated the way you should be! I'm SO happy for you. Can't find to follow your story when you're this side of the pond đ
Bises,
Datea x
Hello Polish girl from Japan – Long-term plans, booking tickets to see you again, all sounds good to me! I like his enthusiasm, it means he's into, which is a very, very good thing. Keep doing whatever you're doing because he obviously likes it. Keep me posted!
Bises,
Datea x
Hi Rouge – Saw your comment and am going to write a full post in response. Coming up!
Bises,
Datea x
Very fun site for what is obviously a subject of great interest. Bravo! Want to see what married life with a Frenchman looks like (22 years and counting)? Check out my blog: http://lovingafrenchman.wordpress.com/
Hi Bendilyn and thanks for checking out my blog! I read your posts last night and fell in love with your writing. Can't wait to read more about your story with your Frenchman. And do come by again soon!
Bises,
Datea x