Hands up if you’re doing any of the following with the (French)man you just started seeing:
1. You text him after dates to say you had a good time.
2. You text him first thing in the morning to say hi and check in.
3. You ask him out for dinner.
4. You ask him over for dinner.
5. You introduce him to your friends as your boyfriend.
6. You suggest a weekend away.
7. You bought you guys two tickets to a concert you want to see.
8. You invite him out for brunch at the weekend.
9. You email him with ideas of this summer’s vacation together.
10. You call him before bed to wish him goodnight.
11. You start stalking him on Facebook to know what he’s up to.
Now, hands up if he’s doing any of the following with you:
1. He doesn’t text back right away.
2. Sometimes he’s MIA for a few days.
3. He says he’s already got plans when you ask him out for dinner.
4. He says he’s tired when you ask him over for dinner.
5. He practically jumps out of his skin when you introduce him as your boyfriend.
6. He says he can’t afford a weekend away right now.
7. He doesn’t show up for that concert and you go see it on your own, crying.
8. He texts you at the last minute to cancel brunch.
9. He doesn’t respond to your email with ideas for this summer’s vacation together.
10. He doesn’t answer the phone when you call him to wish him goodnight.
11. He just deleted you from Facebook.
If anyone answers yes to a couple of these, it feels bad afterwards, doesn’t it? But when it’s happening, we convince ourselves that it’s fine to run after him a little bit, that it’s fine to be enthusiastic, that it’s fine to show we care. But really, what it comes down to is you trying to breathe life into the relationship. If you go cold turkey and stop, you know what happens? The relationship, if that’s what it was, fades away and disappears.
So why keep trying to hold onto something you alone are keeping alive? Even if you think you love someone, it’s time to let them go.