When I stop to think about it, I’m somewhat baffled by the fact that I am in a healthy relationship with a Frenchman. How on earth did that happen? Did I do things differently? Did I read a magical how to date a Frenchman manual?
I guess if I break it down, I did do things a little differently. Call it experience. Or call it being in a place where I just let go. Basically what that meant was:
– I let him pursue me in the early stages. In other words, the mirroring technique was key wherein he texted me, I texted back, he asked me out for dinner, I said yes, etc.
– I let him set the pace of our relationship. I let him kiss me. He set up our dates. Very quickly he wanted to see me pretty much every day.
– We moved in together because it felt natural. There was no convincing. He wanted us to move in together and I said yes.
– Likewise, he wants us to start trying for a baby. And I said yes!!! Duh!!!
– On that note, we have the same life goals, which definitely helps. Such things need to be talked about sooner rather than later.
– And here’s the big one: I am zen, because my Frenchman makes me feel secure. How? In that we have plans for the future, he is so openly loving, patient and giving.
– I let things develop without pushing them. A combination of that and my Frenchman being the one for me propelled things forward very quickly.
– I embrace my feminine energy by letting him take care of me, and letting him do manly things like opening a new jam jar, a new bottle of juice, changing a light bulb, carrying the shopping bags, etc. Even if you think that sounds ridiculous, (French)men like to feel useful like that!
Now I’m not saying that we never have disagreements. Because we do sometimes. But we work our way through them pretty quickly. Because he’s easygoing and I can’t stay mad at him for more than 5 minutes. He’ll usually disappear into another room and I’ll go find him and hug him. Or he’ll make me laugh the way he always does.
Bises,
Datea x
8 Comments
I'm sooooo happy for you. I know I say that all the time but I do. Hahaha! My tummy feels all gooey from this post. 🙂 I'm glad you met the one!!!
-Rosalie.
PS: I also started a blog about my Frenchman. I only have two posts so far but feel free to drop by!
http://afrenchlovemarathon.wordpress.com/
Hi! I stumbled on to your blog when i was googling for help. I need to understand this french guy “I am seeing” (i put that in quotes because im not really sure if that's how he sees it too).
We met through work. When i visited France the ff month, i met up with him and took me to his office.He then took me to Mont Saint-Michel and St Malo, and i met his parents.
After my visit, he took me the train station. we said goodbye and hugged and he kissed me twice on both cheeks. He told me that he may possibly visit my country the ff month.
New years day i received a text fr him aying he was missing me. In Feb, he came visiting. We spent a weekend in the beach in separate hotel rooms.
We spent 2 full days together on the beach but it was pure companionship, we had endless conversations (and no sex).
Since he came back to France from that trip, we have been texting and emailing.
After a month, he arranged to come back! On this second trip, whenever we would meet, he would give me a full kiss on one cheek (no longer the french way of air-kissing twice on both cheeks).
He then started asking me about guys who have been calling and texting me while we were together and would ask if im not interested in these men.
A few weeks ago, i told of my plans of spending a few days on the beach to unwind. And then he said i make him nervous. When i asked why, he said he's just jealous.
His work takes him to different countries and since then, he would send me pictures of his trips.
Sorry for this very detailed account, my question is – are we now a couple? I know he likes me, that's kind evident. But what i dont know is if we were officially a couple?
This is a good sign and encouraging. I wish you the best. Generally, though, do you think a woman has to play it difficult and reticent with the French homme.
Im really worried I screwed it up by giving in too early – are the French likely to lose interest unless a woman 'keeps them keen'?
Hi Rosalie – Such a feeling of peace to have met the one! Sounds like you have the exact same feeling. Love your new blog btw 🙂
Bises,
Datea x
Hi Anonymous (please use a name next time so I know who you are) – Thanks for swinging by my blog. In answer to your question, yes, it sounds like your Frenchman sees you as a couple (even though you haven't kissed). What this means is that he sees you guys as exclusive. So he doesn't want you chatting with other guys or sitting on a beach on your own in a bikini. But, remember, Frenchman don't like to label things so you shouldn't push him on that by having a conversation about what you guys are doing and where you're heading. So basically, he's not “seeing” you but in a relationship with you. Question is, how do you see you guys?
Bises,
Datea x
Hi Anonymous (please use a name next time so I know who you are) – Thanks for your best wishes! Yes, I do believe in not putting out right away with a Frenchman. In my experience, it makes them see you differently, hooks them and maintains their interest. But we're not talking months here. It could be a few weeks, 8 or 9 dates, or whatever is comfortable for the woman in question. Now this rule is not set in stone obviously. But I would say that if it's a relationship you're after, it's best not to put out too soon. Care to share your story?
Bises,
Datea x
Hi there!
I have just found your blog and I'm in love with it. Soo funny and helpful too, will definitely subscribe. I was wondering, when a french man tells you he likes you does he really mean it? Or is he just a horny dog who wants you to go to bed with him.
Does it take a french man a lot to admit he likes you? Or do they say it all the time..
So grateful for all your posts!
Sophie xx
Hi Sophie – Welcome to my blog!
In answer to your question, yes, he means it at the time. Because he's caught up in the moment and because he's full speed ahead. Now, careful, because that doesn't mean he means it the next day or 6 months later. He could just be a horny dog yes or he could be keeping his options open and one of those options is you. It definitely doesn't take a lot for a Frenchman to say he likes you. It's a given if he's hanging out with you. As for his sincerity and staying power, only time will you the answer. Take a look at these two previous posts:
dateafrenchman.blogspot.fr/2012/08/the-value-of-words.html
dateafrenchman.blogspot.fr/2013/01/when-frenchman-says-he-loves-you.html
Come back soon and keep me updated.
Bises,
Datea x