When you’re living in a different country to your Frenchman, your LDR may be driving you a little crazy.
Because you miss him but also because your mind is playing tricks on you.
Like why wasn’t he home when you just skyed him, why hasn’t he written back to your text, who’s that girl who wrote on his wall…
Now there are two camps here:
1) You and your Frenchman have solid foundations to your relationship. Meaning you’ve declared your love for each other. Had the chance to live out a relationship in person. Decided you want said relationship. Only hiccup is that for the time being you guys live in different countries. But not for long. Because you have plans for your future together down the road.
2) You guys met on vacation. You really like each other. You had an amazing time together. Now your Frenchman is back in France, you really miss him. He said he really missed you too at first. Now you’re not quite sure because he’s not been that available to chat recently. He’s always busy or isn’t connected to skype. You don’t know where you stand.
If you’re in camp #1, it’s a question of getting through the waiting time. So you can move on with the rest of your life with your Frenchman. That doesn’t mean the waiting game is easy. But at least you know there is a reason for it. And that reason is so worth the wait.
If you’re in camp #2, however, the frustration and your mind going crazy on you never stops. Is it worth it? Do you feel like he loves you? Is he showing you that he loves you? Is a relationship with him possible in terms of one of you moving countries? Do you have enough reasons to justify such a huge life change? Or are you basing such a life change on two weeks worth of fun?
I’ve said this before but I’ll say it again. A short, whirlwind romance with a (French)man is generally not enough to decide that he’s The One. Obviously, there are exceptions to the rule. But let’s say that rationally speaking, you guys need to spend some more time together, in real life, doing real life things. Because that’s where your compatibility and his staying power comes out, or not.
Let’s put it another way. Would you be willing to buy a pair of 1,200 euro shoes (with no return policy) without trying them on first?
I think that sometimes, we get caught up in the emotion and excitement. And then when things start fizzling out we start to panic and chase what we thought was a budding relationship. But maybe it was never there in the first place. Or maybe it was never supposed to last longer than a two week romance.
It’s tough to admit. Because it’s saying goodbye to a dream. It’s shutting the door on what you thought was the rest of your life. But you know deep inside where you stand. If you take a long, hard look the truth will be there. You may want to close your eyes and keep on going. But if you’re strong and stare it in the face, see it for what it is, you may save yourself a whole lot of heart ache.