Let’s say you’re in a relationship with a Frenchman. But he travels for work, has family he visits in another part of the country, or you’re in an LDR. When you’re together, things are great, you couldn’t be happier. You click, you get each other, you have plans for the future, you know where you stand. All good! But then he goes away and he disappears on you.
What’s with that?
Here’s a few scenarios:
1) Your Frenchman could be MIA for a few days. He may not let you know he arrived safely or he may take three days responding to your text. But he’ll respond eventually as if nothing happened.
2) Your Frenchman could be MIA for a week. You let him be because you know he’s busy. But a week?! He’ll eventually text when he’s on the way home again.
3) Your Frenchman gives no sign of life while he’s away at all. He’ll just ring the doorbell when he’s home.
That last one would have me seriously tempted to not open the damn door, I mean come on!
Now I’ve been in situation 1) before with an ex-Frenchman. Things would be peachy (well, more or less, there’s a reason for him being an ex) when he was around. Then the second he would go off to visit his family I wouldn’t hear anything from him days at a time. It was tough going because I just didn’t get why he couldn’t give me a quick call or text. A 10 second text was hardly going to bite into his vacation time. It drove me crazy.
Once I calmed down, I tried to explain how I liked to stay in contact while he was away. A quick call before bed or a text in the morning, just something. It wasn’t anything to do with keeping tabs on him. It was more just maintaining our bond if you will, keeping communication channels open, showing we were still thinking of one another. Call it reassurance if you like. But I prefer to call it caring about someone.
Anyway, it went in one ear and came out the other. Because next time he went away to visit his family, the exact same thing happened. Go figure. I guess he operated on an out of sight, out of mind basis. When I pushed a bit to find out, he said that he didn’t need to be in contact all the time to be thinking of me. A convenient excuse? It’s quite plausible given that the other option isn’t that attractive: I forgot about you.
So what’s a girl to do? Well, if you’re in an LDR with a Frenchman who’s constantly MIA, then it’s unlikely that it’s going to work. Because how are you supposed to build something with him, keep getting to know each other, if he keeps disappearing on you? If you live in the same city or near each other, you could try explaining it to him. Maybe you’ll have more luck than I did. Or, if everything else is wonderful between you and he’s not away that often, you could let it go… Unless it eventually makes you go nuts on him that is. You might want to reign it in a bit though because he probably won’t get why you’re so mad all of a sudden.
Thank goodness for girlfriends who totally get it!