You’re in love! With your Frenchman! You guys are a couple! You’re blissfully happy! Yes!!!!!
Does that mean the tips on how to date a Frenchman are over?
Does that mean you can just do whatever from here on out and your Frenchman will love you no matter what?
Yes, you heard right. No. Just because you guys are in love doesn’t mean that you’ve got the green light to run with how you think things should roll out.
Here are a few things you may be doing:
– Texting him first thing in the morning to say you love him
– Complimenting him about how wonderful he is
– Sharing absolutely everything that happened in your day
– Bringing up marriage and kids too soon
– Being always the first to say I love you
– Planning holidays together
– Getting super excited about your future together and jumping 2 years forward
I hate to say it but you need to slow down girl! Just because you’re a couple doesn’t give you permission to let the crazy out. On the contrary, you need to keep doing what you were doing when you hooked your Frenchman. Which probably means that you let him chase you, you went with the flow, you let him suggest doing stuff, you let him come up with plans.
Now don’t get me wrong. The mirroring technique is indeed for the first stages of hanging out with someone. Once you’re in a relationship, the mirroring technique is finished. But that doesn’t mean that you do everything from then on. Yes, you can still make the initiative to text, plan things, etc. But you also need to let him do some of the running too. Why? Because it maintains his interest, keeps things fresh and makes you feel special.
If you’re reading this and going, “Pfff, it’s fine, he loves it when I do all these things!” then let me put it more plainly. Your Frenchman may get so used to you always doing and saying nice things that he won’t bother anymore. He may also get tired of your I love you’s so they end up not having much meaning anymore. He may also feel trapped by your suggestions of vacations and plans for the future.
So for everyone out there who is wearing the pants in their relationship, take a time out. Wouldn’t it be so much more lovely if he was the one to invite you to Spain for your summer vacation? Wouldn’t it be so much more lovely if he brought up the convo about kids? Wouldn’t it be so much more lovely if he was the one to suggest you guys moving in together? If this stresses you out, remember, this is not a race to the finish line. You’ve found The One so enjoy what you have! Live in the moment. Let the relationship breathe. And in time, things will slot into place. And when he takes those big steps, they will mean so much more because they came from him. And in his mind, he’ll have the satisfaction that they were his idea. Aha, see what I mean?
It’s about giving The One the time and space to be The One he is and not The One that you’ve been waiting for all your life so hurry up already.