English men and French women

I witnessed this conversation a few Christmases back on a plane trip back to Paris. It was between an English man and a French woman. From what I gathered (I couldn’t help but eavesdrop!), they’d met over Christmas and he was flying back to Paris with her for a vacation. Here’s how it went:

Him: So I thought we could hang out tomorrow, see the sights.
Her: I have to work.
Him: Maybe I could come by your work at lunch.
Her: I only have half an hour.
Him: Well, that’s something, then I could go on somewhere and you could join me after work?
Her: I have a thing afterwards with colleages.
Him: It would be nice if we could spend some time together while I’m here? What days are good for you?
Her: It’s just a busy time for me. But I can maybe do Tuesday and Friday evenings.
Him: Oh, okay.

I felt bad for him. It seemed like he was more into her than she was into him. He must have bought his ticket to Paris on a whim to surprise her. But it seemed to cramp her style. Maybe she’d thought they’d had a 2-day romance, that’s it that’s all. Or maybe she’d agreed to it in the moment but then regretted it in the cold hard light of day. Whichever, it didn’t seem like he was going to be seeing a lot of her. In all likelihood, he was going to have a lonely, disappointing vacation.

Cliché I know, but French women can be aloof and play hard to get. But it doesn’t have to spell the end. In the above English man’s case, here’s how the conversation could have gone so he could get some of his power (and dignity) back:

Him: So I thought we could hang out tomorrow, see the sights.
Her: I have to work.
Him: I made a reservation at X for 8pm if you’d like to join me for dinner.
Her: Oh, that sounds nice. Let me check, I’ll text you later.
Him: Sounds good.

He sounds less like a sad puppy dog doesn’t he? He’s put an offer out there but without nagging. And it’s just one offer, he’s not putting pressure on her by planning the whole week around her. Remember, French women prefer to go with last-minute, go with the flow plans. In addition, he should make other plans like going to see an art exhibition, going to the theatre, etc. so he’s not pinning all his hopes on her. It will also give him something to talk about if/when he sees her.

Oh, and tip for English men trying to make a French woman swoon: when you take her out for dinner, a pair of old jeans and a t-shirt is not the best look. Opt for a shirt and trousers/nicely cut jeans please. Also, make that English charm work for you – open doors, pull her chair out for her, try to speak a bit of French with your English accent. Work it!

Bises,

Datea x